When “helping” and “nagging” collide.

Ladies… How many times have you, instead of sitting down to talk to your husband do you nag him about his decisions? Or what he’s doing? Maybe your hubby plays to much on his phone? Maybe he doesn’t show care for certain parts of his life?  

Am I the only wife that messes up? Many times my biggest flaw (just kidding I have many) is to nag. Though my sweet husband says its my only sin, (wouldn’t that be nice if it were true of me) AHHH I feel terrible but in MY mind “I’m helping him see where he’s wrong and it’s my mission to help him“. After all we are the helpers right? We can easily think this and become the “greatest helpers“, instead we are being a leaky faucet! 

Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 27:15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Yikes! I think THIS is one of my biggest down fall as a wife and I easily forget when I’m so quick to correct my husband and not take the time to love him and pray. 

We’re not his mother, we are his wife. HUGE difference. 

Contrary to coulture, we want to play the role of “Louse” from Family guy and be a mother, not a wife (since many men are Peter sadly) we find it hilarious to undermine our husbands authority because we know better then them. We rob our husbands of spiritual responsibilities by nagging. We rob our husbands of experiencing conviction through The Holy Spirit because we do it for them. When I give my husband the respect he deserves and pray over him trust me it works much more effectively and creates changes that last for a life time.

I know it’s hard.. I have been struggling for the last three years at this.

 I don’t allow The Holy Spirit do his job because I’m to busy playing The Holy Spirit. 

The way WE can help is to respect our husbands by not nagging. By praying for them, by asking the Lord for wisdom to express our concerns to our husbands in a way we’re we are getting out point clear across without being “mom” or undermining our husbands. It’s so possible and I believe it to be true… yet I find myself regressing and nagging because, I’ll be honest its WAYYYYY easier to nag there, and then to get my point across VS praying and letting The Holy Spirit convict.. It’s not as quick as me, but it’s also not as effective. 

I want to challenge MYself and you to get on your knees in prayer, instead of nagging. To keep being a helper with wisdom and by allowing Jesus to convict our husbands and not our nagging words. It’s a tough challenge because we are told that if we don’t tell them what do, they will do what they want… Yes be mindful that this will happen but we can also trust the Lord is a work. Look, we have the right to voice our opinions and concerns, we’re not mutes. HOWEVER if you’re like me and nag instead of using your right to voice concern then I suggest we bow the knee and pray for them and ask God to give us wisdom on when to approach our husbands with concerns and HOW. 

I love my husband so much, I’ll choose to love him by allowing Jesus to change him not me. Who wants a quarrelsome wife? No men I’ve ever met.  Let’s us pray for the leaders of our homes in love and wisdom. We can do this!